does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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