If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
