So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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