You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
