I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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