the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
