This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
