i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
