She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am one with the molecules
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
