It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
