saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize