Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
