her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
