This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize