Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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