she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
