i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
