I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize