Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
