Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
