Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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