Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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