I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize