okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
