So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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