yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
