Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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