Ambien. No doubt about it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
