I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
