At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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