I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think my moral compass just broke
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
