that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
