Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
