Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
