I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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