Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
