I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
