bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
