my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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