help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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