The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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