I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
