Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
