This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
