I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
