But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
