How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
