you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
