I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
