I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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