I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
