I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Randomize
