I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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