He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
