I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The ass gains better be worth it
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