he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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