i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
