How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
