why didn't you poke me back
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
