I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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