Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
