i always forget guys have bellybuttons
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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