I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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