non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
