was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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