Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
