You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will be naked everywhere
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
