I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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