Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize